Saul and Unbelief

Modern psychoanalysis might say Saul was just insecure in his worth. It seems there's a lot of evidence for that. Here is a humble guy, no pretensions toward greatness, looking for his father's donkeys and listening to the advice of a servant. Though he's tall and striking in appearance, he's not stuck on himself. In fact he hides in the baggage when Samuel tries to present him as Israel's new king. In God's own words, he is "little in his own sight." But this seemingly winsome bashfulness is disguising a root of unbelief. Saul did not fundamentally believe in God's wisdom and love for him. This started the "way down" (to quote Berg's phrase from Quieting a Noisy Soul). First panic that led to sin (think waiting for Samuel to come perform the sacrifice), then depression, then maniacal rage (trying to pin his son to the wall), obsessions (chasing David), paranoia, despair, and turning to unthinkable sources to relieve his problems (witch of Endor.) All this because he did not believe God was in control, and that God did not love him. Contrast Saul's youthful hiding among the baggage to David's youthful courage in the face of a giant. The difference was not a superiority in personality. It was a difference in trust.

I don't see how anyone can really hate Saul. If we're honest we can all see some of his failures in ourselves. His unbelief in God's goodness and love led to the destruction and twisting of his personality, gifts, calling. It destroyed his family and brought his nation to its knees. I can't think of a better or clearer warning against seemingly "harmless" unbelief. (After all, it's not a malicious thing like murder or adultery...right?)

The more I read, the more "relevant" I find the OT to be! Maybe I relate to stories and examples better than plain principle. Or maybe it's the woman side of me that just gets into a good messy soap opera. At any rate, I'm really enjoying my previously-dry OT readings. :)